School Days

How many of you dread the start of the school year? With the lazy days of summer coming to a close, there is nothing worse than the kids going back to school. However, my reason for not wanting them to go back probably differs from yours. I'm talking about....the dreaded FUNDRAISER!

Yes, the start of the school year also signals the kick-off for the most important part of being part of the school community -- raising money for the PTO. In my day, fundraisers were easy. We sold magazine subscriptions door to door with a graph posted in our homeroom that showed what we sold and what the goal was for the school. In that way, we could easily see how many magazines were sold in comparison to what was being sold by the entire school. What a concept! Children motivated purely by a sense of achievement.

Fast forward to 2007. A lavish pep rally is held, explaining all the prizes to be had by the children who sell at least 20 items within 3 days. We are not talking your everyday prizes, mind you. We're talking the Holy Grail of all prizes -- a limousine ride with your buddies! Not to mention about 30 other pieces of crap to be had by the "winners". This would include a monkey that you can fling across the room by a piece of elastic (a must-have at my house), bracelets that you can buy by the gross out of the Oriental Trade catalog, an IPod pillow (does this mean I now have to buy an IPod, too?) and let's not forget, a 5 pound bag of gummy bears, that is guaranteed to have your child constipated for at least a month!

Now, it's not enough that this fundraiser is promoted during the first week of school, it is also promoted by ALL the schools in the district. Translated -- there is no one else in your neighborhood that will be doing any purchasing of these "must have" items because their kids are also selling the same crap at the EXACT SAME TIME!

Well, needless to say, this means our poor relatives will be suckered into purchasing a small roll of Christmas gift wrap for $18.00, when you know darned well you can get a huge roll at the Dollar store for well... a buck! Or they can get a $10.00 box of Turtles -- available for $3.99 at ANY drugstore. Or there's the much needed cookware for $27.00, which I'm pretty sure can be had at any Wal-Mart for a third of the price. But who can resist those pleading eyes and the excitement in a child's voice as they explain what their prizes will be if they are able to meet their goal. So, as we fall completely short of the goal, I do my Christmas shopping a little early (and at exhorbitant prices) so as not to have to look at their sad little faces when little Suzy gets the limo ride and they don't.

And even in spite of all of this, I could actually LIVE with all this hullabaloo. However, then comes the high school band fundraiser the same week. So, I guess my complaint is two-fold.

One -- Could we not, as a school, and a district as a whole, spread out these fundraisers so as not to force me to choose between paying for electricity or seeing the disappointment in my child's face ?

Two -- Could we start these fundraisers in October? At least, give us breathing space since we are still coming out of the sting of buying school supplies.

Lastly -- Can we just teach our kids how to be motivated without attaching a prize to it? Teachers are constantly complaining that little Suzy or Mike won't do their work -- yet, they continue to offer extrinsic rewards, rather than allowing our kids the pleasure of accomplishing something simply because they can.

By the way, did I mention, little Mike loved the limo ride? It was in a Hummer.