Better than Sex

Have you ever heard the expression, "That's better than sex?" This is becoming a part of American culture and our vernacular at an alarming rate.

The other day, my mother, who'd been in the hospital two weeks, got a bath. With real water and in a tub, no less. She expressed to my daughter (a nurse) that the bath was better than sex. Then, she went on to say, "At least, what I can remember of it!" Gee grandma, TMI!!

I have to say, this too is one of my favorite expressions. A great expresso-- "better than sex!" Having a pedicure -- "better than sex!" A fabulous massage -- "better than sex!" The problem is, I really do think these things are better than sex.

How long does sex last -- an hour? C'mon, get real and let's be honest -- for the over 40 set, it is not an hour long experience unless you're Demi Moore and your husband's Ashton Kutcher or, the other extreme, hubby's been getting Viagra samples from the doctor who's been massaging his prostate.

So, let's think about this logically. A good expresso can be savored for a good hour, especially while chatting with friends. A pedicure is a good thirty minutes of pure unadulterated indulgence. Sitting lazily with your foot in a tub of warm water while reading the latest National Enquirer. What could be better? A massage can last up to an hour. An hour in a darkened, silent room. To a woman with four kids, this is the ultimate experience. Silence really IS golden.

So, while many people may think I'm crazy for writing this post, if you think about it, and truth be told, I'm not the only one who thinks this way. Don't deny it- you're out there!

Oh, and what does my husband think about all this. Well, the last time I closed my eyes while eating a piece of tiramisu and declared it better than sex, all he had to say was, "If everything is better than sex -- HOW BAD COULD IT BE?!!"